Ouran Death School Note Club
by aep2398
Summary: Crackfic to the max. Just a story about what would happen if the members of our favorite host club met the Death Note crew. Rated T for language. Subtle  joking  hints of Matt/Mello?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, or Death Note. They belong to Bisco Hatori and Tsugumi Obha/Takeshi Obata respectfully.**

**xXxXx**

**This. Is. Crack. And the characters are all OOC. And I haven't seen (yes, seen, I've only watched the anime, so go easy on me. ;D) Death Note in forever, so I'm a little fuzzy on everything. But it's good to be back on FanFiction. ;)**

"Mmmmh?"

Mori had tripped over a boy with silver hair, who sitting on the floor of Music Room #3. He clutched an Optimus Prime doll in one hand, and a fistful of Lego's in the other. The motion had sent Honey flying, but he landed gracefully, and on his feet, like a cat.

"Ow," he said simply. He dropped the Lego's and began twirling his hair with his ring finger while he gazed up at the tall boy with his almost-black eyes.

"Who are you?" asked Honey in an overly-cutesy voice.

"I'm N. Who are you?"

Just then, Tamaki dragged what looked like the King of Abercrombie and Fitch through the door. "...And it's rather ironic that your last name is Yagami, seeing as backwards it's Im-a-gay!" he said with a chipper attitude. "But, anyways, that's not important! We accept you for who you are! Now, what type of man do you prefer-"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GAY," he said angrily. "I have a girlfriend, I don't know where-"

"You don't have to hide here! Come out of the closet, Light. I know you're not really interested in her. So, do you like the smar-"

"I'M NOT GAY!"

Hikaru and Kaoru had trailed behind them, pushing a man with some serious insomnia, scoliosis, and bedhead. "We found another weirdo," they chimed in unison.

Kyoya entered the room running, gasping for breath, leaning against the frame of the door, looking terrified. He managed to rasp out, "I found someone who looked, and acted just like me. And then he got out a notebook, and I said, 'Oh, impressive, I have a notebook just like that too' and then he started laughing, and yelling, 'DELETE', and-" Kyoya clutched his heart. "Heart at-".

"Oh, dear. It looks like Kyoya has passed out," Tamaki said, lifting up a limp arm.

Haruhi stepped over Kyoya's dead figure, with wide, far off eyes, and said ominously, "Don't talk to Renge. She's found her twin," and then trailed off.

The strange anorexic-panda man murmured, "That was odd," and then said, "Do you have any cake?"

"OH BOY! I love cake!" Honey yelled happily, pulling out a seat for him at his favorite table. "You can hold Usa-Chan!"

The man proceeded to stand in the chair, and then squat down. "You look like you're going to the bathroom," whispered Honey, weirded out. "You can't hold Usa-Chan unless you stop looking like you're using the bathroom."

"If I move from this sitting position my reasoning ability goes down by 40%."

"What?"

"I get stupid."

"Oh no! In that case, you can hold Usa-Chan anyway." Honey said, smiling, and chomping down a whole cake (_"Whoa, impressive."_). Mori was sitting next to him, a teacup in hand, pinkie out. "Do you want bunny slippers?"

Their conversation turned into background noise. Bossa Nova ran in screaming, "I found a girl with a face just as mean as mine!" He shoved a blond woman in their faces.

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" she said angrily, then sighing. "I just like to have nice hair. What, a guy can't have nice hair? I spend hours blow-drying it to get these fluffy of bangs. Fluff, fluff," he said happily, poofing up his bangs with his fingers.

"See? Look how mean her face looks! Isn't it wonderful? Now I can finally have a partner that understands me! Would you like to go on a date?"

"Stop right there, biatch," grumbled a boy with goggles and a cigar. "No one's going on a date with her."

"MATT, YOU TOO? I'm not a girl!"

"Let daddy take care of this, dollface."

"WAIT, WHAT? HELL NO! ONLY ROOM FOR ONE DADDY IN THIS ACADEMY," yelled Tamaki, who had been trying to learn the 'Matsuda Pants Dance'. "NIPPLE TWIST."

"Ow, ow, cudditout!"

Nekozawa's cackle ran throughout the room. "And this... Death Note. It will keep out all the light?"

"Nekozawa," said Hikaru. "Who are you talking to?"

"Whoa, you can SEE HIM?" asked Light. "And watchu talkin' 'bout, keepin' out all the light? That's not very nice."

"Shuttup. Now, how many apples will this... ahem. _Death Note _cost?" he paused. "I see, I see. STRAWBERRIES too."

"This day was eventful," Haruhi remarked. "It's too bad Kyoya-senpai died," she said, almost tearing up.

Mori cleared his throat. "Kyoya's not dead," he said, pointing to Kyoya, who was searching around frantically for his glasses. "Kyoya can't die. KYOYA IS BATMAN DAMMIT," he yelled, standing on a chair, with his fist in the air.

Tamaki stared for a while, and then murmured thoughtfully, "His aura DOES kind of ooze Bruce Wayne."

Haruhi narrowed her eyes, and after a rather pregnant pause, said, "God, I hope this is a nightmare."

**xXxXx**

**That was horrible. xD But I hope you got SOME enjoyment out of it.**

**butthatendingwaswretched.**

**Anyway, send it to the eternal pits of Hell by flaming it. With that review button. Right down thar.**

**Or just tell me who you think Renge's twin is. xD**

**~A.**


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